Fake Beard?

From Aubrey Huff's rally thong to Cody Ross' eye-black we must venture even further to discover that closer, Brian "Help Me, Rhonda" Wilson has got a most interesting look.

Wilson's look is what conjured up the "Help Me, Rhonda" because at further review, his beard looks fake!

In an interview after Wednesday night's game (9/29), broadcaster Dave Fleming asked Javier Lopez about Brian Wilson. Lopez is the left-hander who comes in specifically to face left-handed batters, replied, "Brian is the real deal, except for his beard."

Two other relievers who are going along with this facial hair masquerade are Sergio Romo and Jeremy Affeldt.

But as disturbing as this "fake beard" appears it is better than anything a reliever has come up with before him. I mean, if the thought process for such a bizarre look is to make the batter lose focus on his at-bat...

Al Hrabosky, "the Mad Hungarian" had the fu manchu while both Sparky Lyle and Rollie Fingers hand the over-emphasized mustache look. Even Ryne Duren, whose look may have been the most subtle, had the coke-bottle glasses, giving the scary thought that he might be the real-life Mister Magoo, as he'd throw a warm-up pitch over the backstop.

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It may have been F.P. Santangelo asking who Buster Posey reminds you of and he referred to Richie Cunnningham (of Happy Days fame). But Richie was a redhead and that's not a look easily mistaken. Now Lumpy Rutherford or Wally Cleaver, of Leave it to Beaver might be a little better if for no other reason than the television show being in black and white.

F.P. was kind of reaching for answers when a woman called up and suggested "Toad" the character in American Graffiti. He played the part of Terry Fields and I could see the resemblance since I went to school with a guy who referred to "Toad" as "Rebholtz," a guy we both knew from junior high and high school days.

I'm sticking with Wally Cleaver. The "golly gee, cut it out Beave" response fits the baby-faced slugging catcher.

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On long-toss Barry Zito (who throws from 300 feet once between starts) said, "When you're on the mound you want to have that free feeling of letting the ball go. When you aim the ball it's not going to go anywhere."

Jonathan Sanchez said he doesn't play long-toss during the season, but does during the winter.

Tim Lincecum says 'it forces you to pull the ball from behind your body as opposed to pushing it, like throwing a dart.'

Kevin J. Marquez