Umpires Are Women Without the Curvy Shape

How many times did you go out of your way to make your favorite girl feel as good as she could possibly feel and she returned the favor by saying, "Did you think I'd like that?" Or after being with her a while you learn what she likes and doesn't like. You try so hard not to do those little things that bother her and try even harder to remember those little things she adores and she comes back at you, "You've changed. What happened to you?"

The things we do for love. The adjustments we make, changes in tolerance levels for unmistakable behavior and benefits of the doubt given all for the sake of love. Love makes us do unbelievably silly things. Things we wouldn't do at any other time in our lives all for...love.

Major league umpires have a way of interpreting the rules that doesn't compute with what is written in black and white in the rule book. Like females, umpires have an uncanny ability to put a spin on things and leave reason out as a way to further frustrate the person or people involved.

An umpire will take it upon himself to make a ruling even if there's the slightest hint of doubt all for the sake of showing everyone that he knows what he's doing. When if he asked for help he'd be showing everyone the most important thing, which is he wanted to get the call correct.

On check-swings, it's imperative the umpire check with the first or third base umpire to assure the batter did or did not swing. For the home plate umpire to ignore any assistance is stubborn and simply put, unacceptable.

Now with the implementation of instant replays, the umpire should go to the video EVERY CHANCE HE GETS to show the fans and players that his number one priority is to get the call right. The umpires need to leave their egos at the door, the one they came through before they put their uniforms on.

Those of us who love baseball have had to tolerate the incompetence of these attitudes-in-need-of-adjustment, also known as umpires, for some time now. And if the fan can overlook this type of unmistakable behavior for the sake of a game they cannot do without, well, the players should be damned glad the game has that hold on us.

I'd say the same for the women in our lives, but I'm sure they're thinking it's us men who are lucky. With some things you just can't win, so you take the next best thing.


Kevin Marquez