Bonehead vs Pie in the Face

Due to the season having gone terribly wrong and three more games until the 2007 All-Star break, I'm going to be as honest as anyone who gets his information from the broadcasting crew of Jon Miller, Duane Kuiper, Greg Papa, Mike Krukow and Dave Fleming.

Either the GIANTS lost because of a boneheaded play on their part or an umpire's wild hair impaired his hardly athletic ability to put himself in position to make the right call.

As for strike zones, if it's a mutual feeling that both teams are giving YOUR GIANTS' announcers the impression that the person responsible for calling strikes is in need of a white cane, sunglasses, eye-drops, and or a bag of carrot sticks to gnaw on then he'll probably be a prime candidate to get some carrot cake/pie in the face.

It's pretty much a given the person responsible for calling balls and strikes is of legend in his own mind status. He could curse at the batter, coach or manager, entice the argument with any number of gestures and or bad body language. (But he had bad body language picking his ass when he was assigned to umpire one of the bases.) Remember, the umpire is never at fault. It's hard to digest but these guys get free reign to be the A-holes we've come to expect from umpires. That's what happens when you don't have to answer to anyone. They all have had full autonomy since Sandy Alderson left for a job with the San Diego Padres.

In fact, whenever you come across a Durwood Merrill it's few and far between. Durwood was a character who was good for the profession of umpiring. The game could use more like him, too bad that is highly unlikely.

kevin marquez